


You gotta stick it in.

by skyblue993



Series: Sex line AU [1]
Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack Fic, Dirty Talk, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, M/M, Oblivious!Jude, Oneshot, Sex Line Operator AU, Sorry Not Sorry, i have no shame left, perfect day for a messy fic, sexual puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:44:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9398057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyblue993/pseuds/skyblue993
Summary: Jude thinks he's talking to a technical assistant. Connor thinks he's talking to a customer that has called for an evening of fun.Two words collide.





	

It happens by some cruel twist of fate.. or yeah, maybe simply because Jude forgets to put his glasses on and he ends up typing the wrong number on his phone.

Jude's completely unaware of that until someone with voice delicate as cotton candy picks up the call. This is probably the first sign indicating that something is off. Never, in the history of technical assistants records, anyone has sounded so.. polite.  
“Good evening. Thank you for calling! My name's Connor.. how can I help you?”

Jude's smiling absent mindedly from the other end of the line. He gulps down saliva and says. “Hello Connor.. so.. I've been having problem.. you know..” That's a reason Jude lets always talk someone else, in these cases. He's a mess when it comes to have a basic conversation with people.. he starts sweating and panting.. God..

He hears a soft laugh coming through the phone which reminds him the sound of bells. “Calm down.. This is probably your first time.. I'll be as fulfilling as possible.” Jude lets out a sigh or relief... Thankfully this boy seems to be professional, unlike Jude that's currently sweating mess.

“Tell me what's your problem.”

Jude takes a deep breath and tells him. “Okay... so... I'm having some.. you know,  _connection problems.”_

He hears the boy humming softly from the other end of the line, then he asks him. “Is what this is all about? It happens on daily basis. I mean... that's why we're here, right?”

Jude smiles, feeling one bit calmer than before. He unplugs the ethernet cord and the AC adapter but he ends up twisting them together. He lets out a loud groan over the phone. “This thing is so damn long, Fuck!”

“It's okay.. you just have to handle with care.” Connor suggests him with smile clear in his voice. Jude groans even more. “I know! I know! I'm pulling it but it just... I'm going to cut it out and get over with it.”

He swears he hears Connor let out an injured noise from over the phone. “Oh, man.. no.. no.. listen, calm down. I mean, I know it's giving you trouble but that's not the right solution. You're gonna regret it, man. What are you gonna do for the rest of your days if you just... cut it out?”

Jude gives a resigned sigh. This guy's right. “Fuck.. you're right.”

“I'm here to help, okay? We'll get through this.”

“Thank you, Connor... I've never been assisted by someone this gentle.”

“Oh...” He hears him giving a soft laugh which Jude can guess it's between shy and amused. “Y-you do this often?”

“Man. You have no idea.. on weekly basis, I think?”

“Wow.. man..” Connor really sounds sorry for him, right now. “Isn't there anyone in your city that could help you with your problem?”

Jude snorts indignantly. “Oh.. you know how it is.. People are so self-absorbed by themselves that whenever you call them for help, they just turn their heads to the other side.”

That's true.. Connor thinks. So true.

“I just want to solve this problem.. it drives me crazy cause... I basically have no help. That's the only thing I do during the day..”

“Oh..”   
“Yeah..” Jude sighs. “I know.. I know I should get out often but.. it's so comfy, you know?”

“Yeah..” Connor feels a bit flushed at the way Jude's voice sounds so innocent and soft.. He likes the sound of it.

“I'd rather stay home and take care of my own  _entertainment_  rather than go out and deal with Ugh...  _people._ I'm sorry.. that was probably rude since you deal with people all the time.”

Connor's laughter is so nice that's contagious, Jude realizes as he bits down his bottom lip. “I'm gonna tell you a secret... it usually is.. but not right now.”

Despite his lip being held by his teeth, Jude's face breaks in the most blinding smile. He likes the sound of this guy's voice telling him nice things. He might be his new favorite.

Jude shakes his head as to clear it. He has a problem and he's not called to let people giving him compliments.. well, that too.. but he needs assistance so time to get down to business.

“So.. I'm holding the cord in my hand.”  
Connor gives an adorable laugh, which Jude doesn't exactly understand. “ _Cord_.. right.. okay.”

“What should I do now?”

He hears Connor clearing his throat and then he says. “How's this  _cord,_  exactly?”

Jude finds the question weird but he doesn't hesitate to give a prompt reply. “Long and the head is thick.”

He frowns in confusion when Connor gives a short intake of breath from over the phone.

“Okay.. is this your first time handling these accessories?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay... okay.. It's just a routine question so don't hate me. Did you prepare yourself?”

Jude glances over at the modem and various plugs laying on his desk. He sure prepared himself.

“Sure.. wait. I should probably put my glasses on.”

“Should you?” Connor asks him with amused inflection in his voice. “I wouldn't want something to happen to your glasses in the process.”

Jude thinks of all the possible scenarios.. dust, what if he makes a mess and everything bursts into flames? Okay. Better not take chances, he decides.

He puts them back on his desk and tells Connor. “I'm ready.”

“Okay everything is settled, Just tell me what I have to do.”

“ _Just stick it in.”_

Jude does what's been told and sticks it in but nope.. the light of his modem is still red. “It's red!” Jude groans, running his fingers through his hair.

“You have to be gentle!”

“I'm trying, okay? It doesn't work!”

Connor lets out an exasperated sigh and tells him with the same kind voice as usual. “Pull it out and stuff it back inside again. Jude. I promise it's gonna work.”

When the green light finally starts flashing, Jude can't hold back the loud shriek of happiness echoing through the room. “It's happening!”

“Told you, babe..” Jude's still lost in the throes of celebrations so he's totally unaware of Connor calling him babe. “Tell me.. does it feel good?”

“ _So good!_ Oh my God! It's finally happening! I swear I could scream!”  
“Oh yeah, baby... I'd love to hear you scream.”

Jude freezes in shock. The air suddenly's been sucked out of his lungs. “The fuck?”

Connor moans softly, his now husky voice telling Jude. “Yes, babe.. fuck yourself on that cord for me.”

Jude's eyes go wide as the room seems to start spinning around him. What the fuck is happening, right now? “I..I think I need to lie down.”

“Yeah.. it's my favorite position. You spread out on your bed and me, hovering above your sweaty chest, fucking you wildly with my  _cord._ ”

“S-stop..” Jude looks at his phone but.. but his hands are frozen!

“I'm gonna stop until you'll be filled with my cum.”  
“Oh my God... who have I called?!”

“Your most recent wet dream, baby.”

Jude feels all flushed in the face. He's been so attracted to Connor's soft voice that now it's an impossible feat to him to hang up the phone call! What the hell is wrong with him? He keeps listening and his gaze falls down to the swelling bulge, growing into his pants with each dirty words and the softest moans coming through the phone.

He has to say something. Do something!

“You're being quiet, baby.. I might be offended.” His eyes fall shut as his hand starts roaming downwards until itìs cupping his erection from over the rough pattern of his jeans.

Connor's voice is so soft.. so dirty.. so.. perfect.

“Did you fuck yourself that harsh that you passed out from it?”

Jude's eyes snap back open as being doused by a cascade of glacial water on his face.   
“I...I guess I've.. I've called a Sex line instead of the technical assistance.”

There's a long, heavy silence falling from the other end of the line.

“ _You what?! ”_

Jude winces in complete silence, even if Connor can't see him. “S-so... the cord you were talking about..”

“Yeah..” Jude grimaces. “As much as I'd like it to be true.. yeah..I was talking about the modem's accessory..”

Connor doesn't reply for a long moment, then Jude hears him sigh. “Jesus.. this is so fucking awkward.”

“You tell me..” Jude sighs, running his back over his face. “ But hey... on the bright side..”

“Is there even a bright side?”

Jude rolls his eyes. “On the bright side.. you'd be an excellent technical assistant”

“Yeah..” Connor hums. “I'll add to my resumè next to the note “Don't make any sexual innuendos about cords and plugs ever again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on twitter: En_sky9
> 
> Tumblr: skyblue993
> 
> Feel free to leave your feedback :)


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